she is

possibly the worst girlfriend the world has ever seen.

(after the girlfriend who kills her boyfriend in the middle of the night and eats their babies, and possibly the one who drugs her boyfriend with sleeping pills and viagra and proceeds to single-handedly make their babies)

she is needy and clingy and possessive and requires constant high emotional upkeep. she craves attention and her bipolar side shows obscenely when she doesn't get it. she's selfish and rude and masochistic. she loves too much and fucks both their brains up. she's totally aware of all of this and disgusted by it yet just can't bring herself to stop the cycle.

she should carry a warning label. damaged, fragile, despises being alone -- will suck up all your mental faculties and emotions and patience and faith in relationships and belief in what probably isn't love.

she hates how she keeps doing this to herself. every single boy since she's been 17. and just when she thinks it's over, the more in love she falls the more and more she starts becoming that girlfriend from hell again


i've cried so much today i feel like throwing up just looking at this screen. i just want to curl up in some semi-embryonic state and never have to open my eyes or breathe or know what it's like to be in love again. but work calls, work being the final draft of my lens essay. ridiculous when i can't even think straight let alone compose something impressive.


and yet the only way out without dying seems to be to take the other road entirely, and become a cold, hard, unfeeling bitch who doesn't give a fuck if he calls because she's too busy getting high or living her amazing, high-flying life where she never really needed you in the first place.

there are no non-extremes.

this is the last time i will be this person.